They didn’t know
How much the devil had been fighting me since I’d become a Christian
They didn’t know
I was a domestic abuse survivor
They didn’t know
I didn’t have a car
They didn’t know
That I’d tried twice that morning to get a ride from Lyft to be at church and no one responded
They didn’t know
I arrived late because I had to change out of my dress into jeans to get to bible study so I could ride my bike
They didn’t know
I’d tried on ten different outfits to wear the night before
They didn’t know
How hard I’d been working on my mental health, physical health and most importantly my spiritual health
They didn’t know
The chili I made for the chili cook off competition was made in my crock pot which was the only thing I had to make food with
They didn’t know
I borrowed the church pastor’s car who baptized me four years prior to go back home to get my chili
Because there was no way I could have carried the chili on my bike without spilling or breaking the crock pot
They didn’t know
How proud I was of myself to make up my own mind to make a vegetarian chili
They didn’t know
Someone was nice enough to drive my crockpot home for me after I rode my bike home from church that day
They didn’t know
I didn’t know
That I came in 1st place in the chili cook off competition
Now they know
#PauseReflectMoveForward