I Was Born To Be Free

While I was pausing and reflecting on my life I wrote this on June 3, 2018 in Winnetka, IL on Lake Michigan.
Me publishing this is me moving forward.

I was born to be free

It’s interesting to me
The people that come and have gone in my life
Whether by death or by choice
I used my voice
Without thinking
Maybe while I was drinking
I thought I was?
Now I know it does
Effect me
Effect my family
My friends
My business partners
I know I can conquer
This obstacle I’ve been given
To show others how I’ve been livin’
It hasn’t been easy
Some of it has been cheesy
The ups the downs
The highs the lows
Not knowing which direction my feelings will flow
They wanted me to take a pill
So I did
And then I hid
And finally looked within
I’d become someone I wasn’t
Not because of him or her
But because I didn’t know how to endure
The heartache
The tsunami
I still miss my mommy
She was depressed
And stressed
And sometimes seemed as she didn’t care less
She didn’t know
About google or even realize herself
How she could have helped herself
To help with her frown
She didn’t smile in pictures
She said she didn’t like her smile
But I think
She couldn’t find it
She did several things to take away the pain
While she was going insane
Sleeping pills
Tranquilizer pills
Alcohol
Looking back she seemed to have tried it all
But the one thing I’ve learned to do
Is look in the mirror
And see myself clearer
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You never know what someone is going through.
You can look at ones social media and have a perception, but until, which you never will, walk in their shoes, you don’t know.
And trust me what I’ve been through you wouldn’t want to
As I continue my life
And do my best to smile through my pain and do my best to be sane
I’ll do my best not to complain
Of my past
Of how my life is now
I will do my best to show me and you how I continue to plow
Through
This and that
And share part of my story with a tat
I’m holistic
I’m fighting bipolar without prescriptions for now
And have been know to go ballistic
I am determined to get me right
While I continue to fight
For my life
And whatever that looks like
I was born to be free

#PauseReflectMoveForward

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