Rubber Band

It’s is almost as if I had a rubber band wrapped around me and when he was mad he would pull it and let go
As I swallow my pride
I had to admit
I enjoyed the pain
Or at least the attention I received from it
I tried everything to get his attention
That is how I received his affection
When I smiled he didn’t seem to notice
But when I was sick?
He was good to me
Each and every surgery
He took care of me
There is no other way to describe it
I hid it
And stayed
Longer than I should have
I drove myself insane
Walking on eggshells
The story tells
Good and bad
The bad outweighed the good
In the hallway I stood
Walking away from everything I had built
It took me quite awhile to get rid of all my guilt
I felt it was the only way for me to stay alive
I would go in my room and hide
I say my room
Because we hadn’t had our own in so long
With everything that went wrong
I now choose to no longer listen to any sad song
Anything that makes me sad
I close my eyes
And cover my ears
This helps to stop the tears
Years
And years
Of fears
I’m washing them away
Day by day
Night by night
I fight
In the middle of the day
I pray
When I lay down at night I pray
When I wake?
I pray
I’m doing what I can now to show my kids how
To stand up
And never ever give up
Breaking the cycle
Of abuse
Alcohol
Sexual
Emotional
Financial
Physical
Drugs
Parental alienation
I’d like to know where you read this poem in publication
I know I’m not the only one
This is what it looks like to come
Undone
My life?
Has just begun

#PauseReflectMoveForward

Written by the one, the only
Holly DressON NOT Holly DressOFF