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7/22/19 

Removed myself from a toxic relationship

(applause)

And ended up homeless

(Sigh)

You can’t even imagine

It isn’t pretty

As you read (or listen) to the rest of this poem I will do my best to be witty

At 42

I didn’t have a clue

As to what was next to come

Thank God for prayer

Poetry

And cinnamon gum

It helped with the anxiety and depression

I have a confession

I left

While I was sober

Not drinking alcohol

Not doing drugs

Not smoking

Not taking antidepressants

At one point not even drinking caffeine

I was tired of him being mean

I had cried myself senseless

Years and years

Filled with tears

My life was relentless

I was defenseless

I blame myself

I allowed it for entirely too long

But what I experienced?

Made me strong

Stronger than I thought

My worries had me caught

In a cycle

Spinning and spinning

No one in my family was winning

Not that I was keeping score

But

While sleeping in the middle of my living room on the floor?

I FINALLY realized I deserved more

If I continued to stay?

My daughters and son would think it was ok

To be treated this way

Or

To not value others

I felt at the time

That if I left?

I succeeded

At getting out alive

Everyday I strive

To be better than I was the day before

Life isn’t about keeping score

It is about learning

And teaching

And becoming

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#PauseReflectMoveForward

P.S. Happy 1 year anniversary to me and Happy Birthday to him

I pray he finds peace within not just for him,  but for our four children