Why Am I Sad, But At The Same Time Grateful?

Why am I sad, but at the same time grateful?

Because I’ve learned that life is entirely too short to be hateful

It is simply too much to carry

It is heavy and entirely too much to bare

I get that life isn’t fair

Which is why I believe I’ve been given this opportunity

I do my best to work on the outcome

298 days to be exact

If I told you where I’d been for the last 298 days you wouldn’t believe

I am homeless

I decided to break the chains that bound me Now that I’ve left?

There is no communication with two of four of my children to remind me

I broke generations of debilitating trauma

From alcohol abuse, financial abuse, emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, to name a few

Parent alienation?

Is new

I’ve never experienced such unseeable torture nor knew

Someone could do

Something like this to another human being 

Despite everything else I’ve been through

So every day I get up

I remind myself to never give up

I’m grateful that I had the time I had with them

I look forward to the next time I get to spend with them

It’s crazy but,

I believe their absence has made me love all of them even more

Than I ever thought possible

I believe I have achieved the impossible

I found gratefulness in the midst of hatefulness

#PauseReflectMoveForward