This body gave life to four children. I am forever grateful for for the experience. Being a mother is my most rewarding role as a human being.
I watched my mother slowly kill herself from the day that I was born due to her addictions. Food being one of them (she was 290 pounds and 5’3”)
prescription drug addiction, sexual abuse, gambling, her six month old child being taken away from her at eighteen, because it was ruining my grandfather’s name during the height of his career in show business and the list goes on.
I listened to her tell me my whole life the reason she was as big as she was was because of having me. She passed away at the young age of 64. It will be 14 years this November. She did the best she could with what she knew, just like all of us. I learned so many lessons from her whether she ever realized it or not.
Unfortunately, because she never healed from her past trauma, I inherited the unhealed trauma from my mama.
Breaking generational curses isn’t for the weak at heart. We as parents must do our part and do our best to be a good example. Doing the right thing isn’t the easiet thing as I’ve learned, however it is the most rewarding.
I started standing up for my mother at a very young age when people would call her things like “whale”. I’ve been standing up for others ever since, but the one person in the past I wasn’t standing up for was myself. I now stand up for myself even if I stand alone with my legs trembling due to a hip injury. Which I believe was brought on by emotional trauma that I have experienced within the last couple years. As I emotionally heal and continue to take care of myself spiritually, physically and emotionally guess what? My hip pain is lessening and so is my emotional trauma.
As I unlearn patterns and move forward from people and past mistakes that no longer serve me along with programming from society, I continue to grow into the best version of myself.
My overall health, is my number one priority along with setting an example for my children and encouraging them to be themselves no matter what the opinions and judgments of others may be, including mine.
I asked my two oldest children recently at this point of their lives, “what have they learned from me as their mother that has stood out the most?” My oldest who is twenty three says to me “you taught me to not give a f$&?! about what others think of me”. When I asked my 2nd oldest who will be nineteen in a couple weeks the same question she said “you’ve taught me to be myself”. If you ask me those are two life lessons that are worth learning.
I’m excited to hear what my two youngest children’s answers will be, (seventeen and fourteen) when they are ready to tell me. The fact of the matter is they may never tell me. With this thought in mind I remind myself, I cannot make anyone answer a question or receive a message they aren’t ready or may not even be ready to answer or hear. Each of our paths are different, including our children’s.
I share my real life stories, because life is real.
You spend 365 days a year and 24 hours a day with your self. No one else gets that time with you, but you. Once you learn who you are you can help your children learn along with you because you had the courage it gives them permission to do the same.
The best relationship I have ever worked on has been with myself. As I work on myself I will continue to have healthy relationships with others.
I am embody the message of #PauseReflectMoveForward and I hope this message helps you in some way.
Can you think of a way to apply the message of Pause Reflect Move Forward in your life right now?